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Annette Grinds Her Editorial Axe
Takes satirical swipe at District Justice Solomon

In a story which ran in the Dec. 22, 1999 issue, Antoun "reports" on a Harrisburg City Police officer charged with supplying confidential information to her former boyfriend. click here for the full story

The story unfolds along the tried and true journalistic formula for five consecutive paragraphs.  Just when we're thinking, "this had to be a press release from the Mayor's Office," we get vintage, classic Annette!

All it takes is the statement: "The officer was arraigned before District Justice Solomon recently and Solomon released the woman on $5,000 bail."  Immediately Annette gets all puffed up and launches into one of her famous --  

(Editor’s Note: In view of the “tough” fines that  Justice Solomon has given to other people for seemingly minor infractions of City Codes, painting, etc., $5,000 bail for such a SERIOUS OFFENSE to be VERY, VERY LOW! Perhaps District Justice Joseph Solomon should reevaluate his priorities!.)  

Such indignation seems disproportionate, especially considering she managed to confuse bail and fine.   Apparently she didn't regard the caustic if confused Editor's Note to be enough of a holiday greeting for Justice Solomon.  Flush with the spirit of the season, Annette gives Solomon an appearance in that satirical masterpiece:

“Say It Isn’t So, Matilda!"
(Another make-believe conversation)  
Paxton Herald, Dec. 22, 1999

HORTENSE: “Hey, Matilda … I’m glad I saw you comin’  across the street, ‘cause I have to talk to you about a couple of things. Why you know how I’ve always been interested in all this law an’ order stuff ... well ... what I can’t understand is how a $5,000 bail is okay instead of ... instead of ...”

MATILDA: “You have to be a little more explicit than that, kiddo, because I don’t have the FOGGIEST idea what you’re talking about!”

HORTENSE: “Well I’m just talkin’ about the City Policewoman who got into the City Computers, an’ gave her ex-boyfriend DRUG information ... when HE was bein’ INVESTIGATED for drug stuff an’ ... an’ ...

MATILDA: “Looks likes she flubbed the ...”

HORTENSE: “If you’re going to say something that’s gross ... please don’t finish it!”

MATILDA: “Please! I’m just using an old quote that says that anybody who makes a mistake just ‘FLUBBED THE DUB!’”

HORTENSE: “I don’t know whoever’s DUB he flubbed but good old Solomon flubbed SOMETHIN’! I’ve even heard of him givin’ People $700 or $800 fines for bad paint on their window frames an’ high grass so ... so ... so...”

MATILDA: “Kiddo, some people don‘t have very good priorities. You’ve got to remember that…”                 

“Say it isn’t so, Matilda!”